Two of my friends (and former newspaper co-workers) lost there jobs this week. And gosh, I wish I could make them know that they are going to be OK.
One friend in particular is having a really hard time. In fact, she’s nearly identically going through the same motions I did in the days that followed my job loss. She can’t eat, she can’t sleep, she can’t think about anything but what is going to happen next and in her eyes (and in mine at the time) what happens next is nothing but bad. She keeps analyzing and reanalyzing and dissecting and asking why. And the worst part is, she’ll never know. It’s a hard lesson in forgiving and forgetting.
Last night I wrote her an email and sent it directly from my heart. Sadly, I know people’s words, at a time like this, do little to help. And honestly, if I could take away her pain for even a few minutes to allow her to turn off her mind so she could fall asleep, I would. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. The only thing that really makes the heartbreak and the anger she’s feeling right now go away is time.
Listen to me – the girl who 14 weeks ago thought she was going to die. And I guess that’s just it, no one really dies from losing their job. In fact, all the cliches that everyone told me have been nearly 100 percent accurate. Losing your job is a character builder, you come out a better person with rearranged priorities and different life goals. And she will too.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK, babe. I promise.
In that email I sent her, I talked about the silver lining. About finding it. About seeing the bright side in a horribly tragic situation. And if you’ve never lost your job, you don’t know how horribly tragic it is. It is. Job loss rips apart who you are and immediately rapes you of your identity. It brings out an incredibly ugly side of yourself, a side you never knew existed. And then you emerge. You grow. You move on. You heal.
I’m not saying there will be no more negative in my journey; I do not have a job lined up, yet. But, I’m on my way. And eventually when the time is right and she’s learned all that she’s suppose to learn from the situation, she’ll emerge from the situation too. And she’ll be better, and smarter and more beautiful than ever. This, I know.
In the mean time, I’m praying my friend finds her silver lining in all of this.
Posted by Amie on July 12, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Mandy, that e-mail meant the world to me. And last night, I got a full night of sleep and it was as glorious as I thought it could be!!
You have been such an amazing friend through all of this. Thank you.
Posted by Aldrich M. Tan on July 13, 2009 at 12:55 am
I am holding out hope for you too, Amie, and Mandy, thank you for doing that very kind thing. I am also dealign with a friend who just lost his job as well and THIS ECONOMY JUST SUCKS!!! It needs to stop sucking! Like now.
Posted by missinsidegirl on July 13, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Oh, Amie I had no idea!! Mandy, I am so glad you were there to offer her the words so many of us have needed to hear the last six months. I miss you girls so much
We really, really need a lunch date or night of vegging and movies and everything else girls should never stop doing 
Mandy, good luck on your interviews!
Posted by Manda on July 13, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I guess it’s kind of my way of paying it forward. You, missinsidegirl, were there for me in those first few days/weeks and than meant more than you probably ever knew. I wouldn’t have gotten through those days without you.