Bloggie meme

1. How long have you been blogging? Since 2005.

2. What made you start? The newspaper I worked for gave me the opportunity. With that, I started my food blog. About a year later I realized I wanted an outlet to publically write about my life. So, I started this blog.

3. Who inspired you? In the beginning, I’m sure it was Krista. She was always hilarious and had a million readers.

4. About how many hours a week would you estimate you spend on your blog? Between both of my blogs probably a few hours per week. And usually a little extra on Sunday mornings writing about food and posting photos to Flickr.

5. What kind of experience or background do you have with writing? Well, I have a degree in journalism and English, which these days is about as good as having a high school diploma. I began my career as a police reporter for the largest newspaper in Wisconsin. I moved to Oshkosh for a full-time position in 2005 and have since spent every second of my career writing. I currently am the writer/editor on my marketing team.

6. Talk about how you come up with blog topics. Where do you get your ideas? Well, usually it’s a story I want to share or an internal struggle I need to talk about. Truth be told, I was a better blogger before Twitter. Now, I tell a lot of mini stories all day long.

7. What or who inspires you and your blog? Having all of this to look back on. I’ve always been a journal writer and this just seemed like the natural next step. You can learn a lot from yourself when you look back.

8. Where and/or how do you do your brainstorming for your blog? I don’t. I just write. I think that’s the point.

9. Do you have any blogging rules or guidelines you follow? I try not to hurt people in what I write, which is dumb and silly and gets me all worked up sometimes. After all, this IS my space.  But, there are just some things I can’t write about because my family and friends read this. Sometimes I wish I would have done all of this anonymously to avoid that part.

10. Is there anything you will not blog about? I’m in general not very political in this space. I also am pretty vague about my job, which I believe is smart. Back in the MySpace days, I got “reprimanded” for speaking negatively about the company I worked for. Lesson learned.

11. Do you have any sort of a publishing schedule in terms of day of week or topic? No.

12. How many drafts of potential blog posts do you have right now? I don’t really plan ahead. Sorry.

13. In what medium do you draft your posts? I usually write right into WordPress.

14. How often do you completely scratch or delete drafts or blog post ideas? A lot. I write a lot of posts that never see the “publish” button. It’s sort of like writing letters you never send, it just makes you feel better.

15. If you had to leave your blog in your will to another blogger, who would you choose? I would definitely leave my food blog to Jeff even though he’s not a blogger. He’d totally be a good taker-overer. He could rock it.

And this blog, I’d likely leave to no one. It’s pretty hard for someone else to capture the personal side of me. I hope.

16. Are there other blogs that you feel are similar to yours in content, style, or voice? There are a million 20 something bloggers like me, which is a very comforting thing. I start a lot of sentences with, “This girl whose blog I read” and “my blog friend (insert name).”

17. Has anything surprised you since you started blogging? The amount of support I receive from strangers. The strangers-turned-friends. The fact there are people out there who get exactly what I’m going through in moments where you feel like no one is in your corner.

18. What are your goals or plans for your blog going forward? To just keep writing. No matter what.

19. Do you make any money from your blog? Not this one.

20. What blogging system do you use? WordPress. And I like it.

21. How did you come up your blog name? It was a play off of my other blog, which was all about the kitchen and cooking. And of course, it’s something my foodie favorite – Rachael Ray – says frequently.

22. How many blogs do you have? 2.

23. Are you having as much fun as when you started? For shiz!

24. Where do you find other bloggers like you? I steal them from the blogrolls of people I like. I also try to read those that link to me or comment.

25. What’s your one wish when it comes to blogging? I’d like to attend some sort of huge event where bloggers meet up. Likely, a foodie related one.

Fabulous

Without getting into too much detail (it’s safer that way), I am working on some really exciting things at work. I’m talking huge things. Public-facing things. Visible to my community things.

I’ve spent a lot of time during the past two days presenting. Literally, I’ve presented to hundreds of people throughout my organization this week.  Turns out, all this public speaking forced me to learn something about myself: I’m way better at this than I’ve ever given myself credit for.

When I was in high school I dreaded talking in front of even 30 classmates. Generally, I’d get sweaty palms and a butterfly filled stomach. I’d lose sleep over it. Sometimes there were even tears. I hated it.

When I set my goals for myself at work this year among them was to become a better public speaker. Thankfully my peers and superiors have given me that opportunity. Except when they gave it to me, they gave it to me huge. I didn’t really know what to expect from myself  when I took on presenting this initiative to the organization I work for. I had no clue whether I’d completely bomb or succeed. I didn’t know that it would turn out so well. I’m proud of myself.

This afternoon as we left our last presentation of the day and walked to our cars, the head of our marketing department thanked me and told me I did a fabulous job.

Fabulous? Me?

The feedback obviously felt really good. I knew I had done well. I felt like I had done well. But the accolades were very much appreciated. I’m growing, I’m learning, I’m changing. Under my once battered and bruised self-confidence is a really good marketing person. A little something I like to call “the right fit.”

End of an era

“If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”  – Conan O’Brien

Up to

Working out and eating right, working late and going in early, waking up before it’s light out and coming home after it’s dark, celebrating and smiling, snuggling and having movie nights, avoiding the laundry and cleaning the bathroom, working on something very exciting at work and connecting with an old friend, cooking and working on a side writing project, planning for grad school and figuring out tuition details and aid, reading and taking lots of photos with my new flash, Tweeting and Facebook, being more creative than I’ve ever been and being pushed hard to put out my very best work, bonding and communicating, hanging out with friends and planning for a visit from my old roomie/BFF, drinking wine and eating grapefruits, watching documentaries and growing increasingly obsessed with Netflix, editing proofs from my couch last-minute and re-writing copy, listening to new music and watching ‘24,’ drinking way too much coffee and enjoying every second of it all.

Happy, happy birthday, my love

One of those days

By choice, on both of our parts, which I am proud of (whoa commas!), we work in similar fields. We have similar job duties and make similar choices throughout our days. We are both writers at heart searching for something that will make us famous, or well-known, or just known. And on some days, that’s just a lot.

It takes a toll on us emotionally some nights. And on some weekends.

Today was one of those days.  A day where I longed to pick up the phone and bitch to someone about how I felt. And I suppose it’s like this with any career choice, but it was a rude awakening when I realized that the only people who would understand an ounce of what I’m feeling (without 12 years of back story) are the people I work with or Jeff.

Our nights, a lot of times, consist of dreaming up a far-fetched business plan for a blog, travel book written by us or an indoor dog park, which we nearly have floor plans drawn up for. I often find myself wondering what it’s like in other people’s houses, houses where one person is a creative being and the other is a mechanic or engineer or teacher or whatever, pick any job. I wonder what people who don’t have comparable jobs talk about, or if they do. On the contrary, I know there is a thin line and I know we cross it. We often spend way too much time discussing and analyzing not only our career paths, but the day-to-day as well.

We are two of a kind, that guy and me. He gets what I’m going through on the days when I’m on top of my own world and on the days where I don’t even know what it is that is annoying the crap out of me. Some days I feel like he gets me more because we have the same end goal – make a difference in a world that we care about, be good people, and better writers and stand up and out for causes we believe in.

(I do not have a conclusion to this blog post, it’s mostly just random put-together thoughts that kind of fall under the same umbrella, but I’m pressing ‘publish’ anyway. Oh, Happy New Year!)

See ya, 2009.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Lost my job, got a real Christmas tree, prepared Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve dinner at MY house.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t remember, which is not a good sign. However, I have three distinct resolutions for 2010:

• Lose 7 pounds
• Take the GRE and apply/start grad school
• Be a better friend (not because I think I’m a bad one but because I refuse to let “life” be my excuse for not calling often enough)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My best friend. Sweet little Aubrie entered this world with a bang in October.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Barnee kitty. After 17 wonderful years of life, it was time. RIP, love.

5. What countries did you visit?

I work in communications, we don’t take trips with our salaries. Hilariously, I said the same thing last year. Jeff and I are going on a vacation in 2010, it’s already been decided.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn’t have in 2009?

A wedding.

7. What dates from 2009 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

This one. It was a day that changed everything I am, and likely everything I will become. It changed my perspective, the way I spend money, the way I think about my career, relationships and life. It was the very best and very worst thing that ever happened to me all rolled up into one tiny little moment.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Getting my new job. It was a really long, really hard process. I really did not want to leave my community to find a new job and the fact that I got one right here where I live, where I love, where I function, is awesome to me. And I attribute all of that to my effort, my willingness to show my passion for this community and Twitter. No joke.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Letting my insecurities take over. Jeff was my target way too many times this year and while I know he still loves me the same, or more, I’m not proud of using him as my punching bag just because we live under the same roof. I don’t know what I’d do without that man. Really, I don’t. And some days the way I treated him because I was scared of life were really just uncalled for and downright embarrassing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just a lot of emotional bullshit. Turns out, in the end it makes you stronger.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A birthday dress.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine. I overcame.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The woman who fired me. I hope someday to forgive, but I am absolutely not there yet. Some days I get down on myself for not being able to let go of that, but the way she treated me was unprofessional and uncalled for. Frequently I have to remind myself that what goes around comes around. 

14. Where did most your money go?

What money?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Cooking for Thanksgiving.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

“Gives You Hell” by All-American Rejects. It’s truly a breakup song, something I haven’t been through in years. But, losing a job is so much like a breakup it’s unreal. Whenever I hear that song, I blast the radio and scream the lyrics because it’s about the best stress reliever ever.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

I’m happy today. And that’s good.

I’m probably seven pounds fatter. See: New Years Resolution.

Poor, in general.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Enjoying my time unemployed. It’s just so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when that light comes in the form of 100 percent uncertainty.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Crying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas was more low key this year. And a lot more thoughtful. However, Christmas is a really stressful time for me and has been since I was a child. My parents blow it off and I’m sure think that my stress is just a product of my sensitivity, but it really bothers me. I have a really hard time picking and choosing and organizing where we are suppose to be and when. I have an even harder time with my parents’ priorities during the holidays. I think they both have it in their heads that I’m an adult now, which makes them done with their responsibilities as a parents. I still need them – all 26 years of me – and I wish they’d recognize that more. Especially at Christmas.

21. Did you fall in love with 2009?

I fall in love more every day. Even on days when it hurts. I adore my other half more than anything in this world. After almost five years together, I still find new things to love every day. (I find new things to hate, too. But that’s besides the point).

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Top Chef.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Mostly.

24. What was the best book you read?

I sucked at reading this year. I read job finding websites, mostly.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Don’t even know.

26. What did you want and get?

A stronger relationship. We’ve been through it all this year and we made it. And if that’s not the best reassurance out there, I don’t know what is. I have no doubt – and I never have to – that when I’m at the bottom of the bottom with no money and smudgy makeup that I won’t be alone. You never quite know what it’s like to have someone pick up the slack so you can exist – or if they will – until it’s absolutely the worst time to find out. I’m thankful every day that I never even had to ask. I never once had to worry. It was just an unspoken, I will do this for you, which is exactly what love should look like.

27. What did you want and not get?

An engagement ring. See #26 though, I’m OK with waiting because I know I have something good goin’ on here.

28. What was your favorite film of 2009?

I saw one movie this year – Julie and Julia – which is more than I’ve seen in the last four years so it’s progress. However, we’re turning over a new leaf in our family. We have NetFlix now and are aiming for one movie/date night per week. I love the idea.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26 in 2009. I spent the day boasting over my boyfriend who was cooking in a charity event. Both of our families joined me. It was the best way to bring in 26. Plus, our mamas really like each other, which is way important.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A million dollars.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

I need new cute shoes.

32. What kept you sane?

Writing. My dog to talk to on lonely days. My boyfriend.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

I don’t know. Well, I do. But I will say this: If I ever get some extra time, I’m going to fight with someone about child support rules. I don’t think deadbeat mothers should be able to live off their baby daddy child support just for the fun of it. Just like with most things, I think there should be some sort of accountability.

34. Who did you miss?

My old friends that I do not see nearly enough.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met a new friend through Twitter and she’s absolutely awesome. She’s like my polar opposite yet we have so much in common. I just love hanging out with her and I’m excited to see how our friendship evolves in 2010.

I’m also pretty excited about my new co-workers. They are great.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

You will not die. You will not die from a broken heart, or losing your job, or from having no money, or from being lonely. You will not die.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I do not find this task possible. Songs get me in the moment, for a moment. And then, just like it’s suppose to, the moment passes and you’re onto the next. (I guess that’s part 2 of #36).

The power of a community

It’s not something you really understand – this blogging community – unless you’re a part of it. It’s made up of people who share your happy and cry with you. It’s made of complete strangers who love each other like best friends. It’s made of people like my blog friend Brandy, who needs your help today. And tomorrow, and the next and the next.

If you have an extra prayer or a vacant blog post or Tweet to spare, please feel free to pass her post (below) on.

This is my opportunity to pay it forward – I’ve been prayed for, cried on behalf of and cheered on from afar because of this blog. Today, Brandy (and her smokin’ hot boyfriend) need all of that, and more.

Thank you.

________________________

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Top 10 List

What. A. Year.

And since it’s the trend, here is my top 10 list. I’m not sure if mine should be labeled as favorites. Instead, here is my memorable list of 2009:

10. A Serving of Life

I never thought when I started writing about how much I like food and how much I like to eat that anything would come from it. I mostly did it so my family and friends could keep up with me and so I could keep track of my journey. I didn’t really know much about cooking when I started and now it’s one of my most favorite things to do. Further, I’m knowledgeable about it. This year I was featured in the state’s largest newspaper, I’m currently working on something for a launch of a new state blog and I was the recipient of lots of free (and interesting)  items to review. I can only imagine what the future has in store for me and that blog. It’s a wonderful community out there; and I’m so thankful to be a part of it.

9. My new job/co-workers

I had no way of knowing what 2009 would shoot at me in the way of my career. I had no idea that I’d be on the hunt for a new one. And certainly, I had no idea I’d end up where I did. As with most things, hindsight is pretty dang amazing and I can totally see now that I am so much better off. I love going to work (almost) every day. It’s a place where I’m challenged to do my best work, to write and work at a frequency I never have before and ultimately, it’s a place where the people really kick ass. I was looking for a family – like I had when I was at the paper – and I found one. I’ve made lasting friendships already and it’s only been a handful of months.

8. Twitter

It’s undoubtedly one of the things that got me my new job. Plus, it’s been the catalyst for some really new, exciting and meaningful friendships. It’s sort of like Google, but instead real people tell you that you might have cancer when you explain your symptoms. Right up my alley.

7. My 26th birthday

Turning 26 was hard for me. You have these visions in your head about what your middle 20s are going to look like and they include things like a house, a child, a marriage and a kick ass career. Those days leading up to 26 were hard. I analyzed way too much and I beat myself up for being off track. As it turns out, I’m right on track. I wake up everyday next to a man I adore in our small condo that we own. We’ll get married some day and if the stars align right, we’ll end up with children. Until then, the best way to live is in the right now. I’m thankful for having learned that lesson in 2009.

6. My friends

Especially those that held my hand and caught my tears in those first few days and weeks last spring. There were days where I did not think I’d make it to the next. There were days where I was defeated and thought life was over. I’ve said it a million times before: Losing your job pretty much rapes you of your identity and if I was not surrounded by my friends, I would not have made it, trust me on that one. Thank you to each one of you who reached out, took me to lunch, told me I was wonderful and mostly thank you to those who knew just the right thing to say (because most people don’t). You know who you are and I will never forget your kind words, gestures, e-mails and prayers.

5. Jeff

Like in any relationship, there are moments when I should have been smacked across the face and told I was a bitch. While he’s no saint and while he does lose his temper with me sometimes, he’s the most supportive being in my life. This year Jeff dealt with more tears than anyone can possibly imagine. He’s become a better listener in 2009 and for that I’m truly thankful. I needed someone’s ear many, many times. Jeff also learned how to cheer lead this summer when I was looking for a job and interviewing and becoming a finalist. On days when I was down on myself about a particular interview or opportunity and would push him, he’d bounce back with kind words, excitement and the friendship and love I needed to carry me through. As I said, 2009 was a hard year for me, but probably the most progressive year for us – we grew a lot this year.

4. My ability to write

It carries me through almost everything I do. It’s what found me a job. It’s what put money in my pocket when I didn’t have one. It’s who I am. The end.

3. A summer off

We spent the summer hiking state parks and finding things to do on the cheap, because we had to. When weekends came, I was dying to get out of the house, so we did. For our anniversary in May, Jeff bought me a sticker for the Wisconsin State Parks system and we used the hell out of it. Those moments made up of tennis shoes to the hiking paths and picnics in the woods combined with toes in the water on beaches and a wet dog smell leftover in the car the next day likely saved my life. Well, those moments and Zoloft, to be fair. I will never forget all of those parts or our conversations in the woods. I’ll never forget how tight we held each others hands when we hiked the bluffs at Devil’s Lake. I’ll just never forget all those little tiny moments – that were actually really huge for me – that took place in the summer of ‘09.

2. Losing my job

Now, with meaning behind my words and with 100 percent truth I can say that losing my job is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I no longer work for an organization I have to struggle to believe in, I no longer have to compromise myself and write way-too-long press releases, I no longer am micro managed. At the time, I did think I wanted that job and there were days where I also thought I loved it. I gave up a job I loved (but was ready to move on from) at a newspaper and took the jump to “the dark side” of public relations and I learned that it really wasn’t for me. Or maybe I’m wrong on that, I did like doing PR, but I just didn’t believe in some of the stuff I had to say and pitch. Public relations, in my opinion, is something a little more organic and a little less preachy. Losing my job sucked, but the way they treated me on that day sucked even more. I am blessed to have lost a job with an organization that treated me so shitty in those final minutes. I don’t deserve that – no one does – and as it turns out, I escaped. I dodged a bullet and I found something better. And as my new co-workers tell me: “Their loss is 100 percent our gain.”

1. My new found identity

I changed a lot this year. I will not leave 2009 as the same person I started it as. My priorities are different, my relationships are different, my thoughts about my future are different and my view of the world is different. I’m thankful for every last experience – good, bad and ugly – and I’m proud to say that I’ve learned a lot of lessons going through everything that I did. I fell and failed, I grew and changed. And the best part – I’m pretty damn proud of who I turned out as. I’m ready to give 2010 a run for its money. I’m beyond thrilled to start a new year as a new me.

Christmas partayyy

Tonight Jeff and I attended a Christmas party for a service club he’s deeply involved with. We danced, and sang, and drank adult beverages and ate cute appetizers. Truth be told, I am feeling the results of said adult beverages as I type this. Truth be told (part two!!!), I needed those drinks to remind me that the holidays are fun. (!!! Wee!). And one more truth: my feet hurt from all the dancing.

Figuring out Christmas is stressful for me. And I’m pretty sure my family members chalk it up to my over emotional self and that really sucks. I do like Christmas. I like spending time with my family (AND THEIR SPOUSES, even if they don’t believe me) but I also would like for just one Christmas to be a little chill. I’d like to feel like my family wants time with me and I’d like to spend Christmas in my own home. The Christmas at our home isn’t happening this year, but the time with our families is finally coming together. So, I will happily settle for the latter.

For the first time ever, Jeff and I will wake up in our own home and in our own bed on Christmas morning this year. I am so damn excited. From there, we’ll head to our hometown and spend a few hours with each of our families doing holiday-eee things and I’m excited. I’m finally in the spirit, which I do believe a few hours with a glass of wine in your hand and a dance floor will do to you.

Plus, we’ve made a really special (but totally uncheesy) gift for our families this year and they came in the mail today (so much work went into this project, I can’t even wait to share it with you all) and I just cannot wait to see the joy in our families eyes when they open said gift. We are proud.

With all of that, Christmas time is here. And we only get one Christmas time 2009. So, I’ve got my celebrating shoes on and I absolutely cannot wait to make our way home and hand over our gifts on Christmas. For as craptastic as this year has been for us, I’m planning on a good Christmas. A really good one.

Cheers!